


Nothingness

by WrittenFire



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grace gets comfort at the end, Heavy Angst, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26061031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenFire/pseuds/WrittenFire
Summary: Grace experiences a traumatic event.
Relationships: Danny "Danno" Williams & Grace Williams
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	Nothingness

**Author's Note:**

> So this work is deeply personal. It's something that I've been having a lot of emotions about that I couldn't figure out how to articulate; I ended up choosing to write it out, and it was a process that let me express emotions over an event I haven't in years. 
> 
> This fic deals with sexual assault on a child in their elementary years. The other person in question is a teenager. It's touched on at the end, but the majority of this story is focused on the details leading up to the assault, and how Grace handles the emotions in the immediate after. If this isn't something you can read, if it's a trigger, than please leave the story. Think of your mental health, please. 
> 
> *This was only glanced at for edit, and not beta'd.

Grace didn't like her mommy’s new boyfriend very much. He was kind of mean, in sneaky ways mommy never noticed, and his kids were mean too. Sometimes they would play nice, but then they would turn around and tease her when no one else was around. The only one she liked was one of the brothers. He was always kind to her, and would play when she got bored. But even then, Grace was always impatient to get back to her Danno, who she secretly wished she lived with all the time. He always made her feel safe, and wanted. Danno was the best daddy in the whole world.

But Grace was always with her mommy, and that used to be  _ good.  _ Mommy was nice and safe and loved Gracie the most. Now, though, staying over at Mommy’s wasn’t the same. She was still nice and safe and loved Gracie the most, but the new boyfriend had changed her and sometimes, Grace couldn’t tell who her mommy was anymore.

It was finally Saturday, though, which meant that Grace was going to be seeing her Danno tomorrow and she was so excited she could spin in circles forever and never get sick. Saturday’s before seeing her Danno always made her stomach feel funny, like butterflies were trapped. They were always set free on Sunday when she saw him at the drop off point, waiting with his arms open for her running hug—and he always caught her, too. Danno hugs were magic, and no one could tell her otherwise.

That Saturday had gone on like a lot of the days spent with her mommy did; Grace woke up, got dressed and ready, and spent the day hanging out with the girls, always feeling like she didn’t quite fit in. At some point they all hung out in the basement with the youngest of the older brothers; while the sisters played in the room somewhere else Grace hung out with the brother, eventually sitting on his lap while he bounced her up and down. It was something they did, sometimes, and always when it was just them kids.

Dinner was uncomfortable, Grace unable to finish her food. Mommy’s boyfriend tried to make a rule when they started living together that you couldn’t have a drink until you finished, but Mommy said no. The rule instead was that if you didn’t finish your dinner, you didn’t get a soda. Grace wanted one but dinner that night wasn’t very good.

She went to bed with butterflies again, knowing that tomorrow after breakfast she’d be with her Danno again. Falling asleep was easy, because she knew that the sooner she went to sleep, the sooner Sunday would come.

\--

  
  


Grace was quiet the next day. The usual Sunday butterflies are gone and in their place is a feeling of nothing. Her mommy noticed but didn’t ask, instead giving Grace an extra helping of breakfast and a bigger hug at drop off. Grace ran into her Danno’s arms like she always did, holding onto him tightly. “I missed you a lot, Danno.” She said, face buried in his neck. 

“I missed you too Monkey.” Her Danno kissed her on the head. “I love you.”

“Love you too Danno.” Grace stayed in his arms for as long as she could, telling her mommy she loved her before climbing into the backseat of Danno’s car. Her parents spoke a bit before Danno finally got in the car—Grace knew it had to be about her, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to get home and spend time with just her and her dad. 

She continued to be quiet for the rest of the day, though the longer she was with her Danno and the safe feeling he always provided, the more that she spoke. It wasn’t near how she usually was, and she saw the worried looks her dad gave her, but she couldn’t speak past that feeling of nothingness inside of her.

It wasn't until he was tucking her into bed that she was finally able to overcome it. “Danno?”

“Yeah, Grace?” He was looking at her, but she couldn’t meet his eye.

  
“Do I have to go back?” Grace grabbed her dad’s hand, holding it between both of hers. “I don’t want to go back, Danno.”

“Why not, monkey?” Danno asked. And as she stared at their hands, and the gentle way he  _ always _ held her hand when she did this, Grace told him. 

\--

_ Grace wasn’t sure what woke her, but when she opened her eyes it was still dark out, the streetlight shining through the window the only thing lighting up the room. The girls didn’t like nightlights, and there wasn’t a TV in the room so Grace always relied on the streetlights to keep the shadows at bay. Looking around the room, trying to figure out what woke her, Grace looked up to see the brother standing above her.  _

_ He didn’t share the room, so why was he there? She mumbled something in confusion, brow furrowing, unease spreading through her body when she saw that his pants weren’t done up. “Look,” he told her, his hand down below where people’s special parts were. “Look.” He told her, as she told him no and turned away from him. _

_ “Feel,” he said, as he walked around so he was face to face with her again. “Touch,” he said as she pulled her blanket over her head and asked him to stop, to please let her sleep. She never would be able to say how long it continued, to say what it was that eventually made him stop and leave her alone. Grace never would know what got him to put himself away and go back to his room. Maybe it was the presence of his sisters, sleeping in their beds in the same room. Maybe it was the knowledge that she would be there again the next weekend, and he could try again.  _

_ She didn’t know. Just like she never could figure out how she fell back asleep that night. _

_ \-- _

When Grace is done telling Danno what happened, the room is quiet. His hold on her hands goes tight, for a second, before he takes a deep breath, and runs his free hand through her hair. “Don’t worry, Grace. You won’t ever have to go back there.” Her dad promised. 

“Okay. Thank you, daddy.” She pulled his hand closer, snuggling into her bed as she finally felt the nothingness leave her, replaced by the certainty that her dad’s promise would hold true, and that he would take care of her. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Grace. More than anything.” He kissed her forehead, the love behind the touch warming her up. Her Danno stayed with her until she fell asleep, one hand kept in hers while the other ran soothingly through her hair. And with her Danno there, showering her in love, Grace was able to fall asleep, knowing with an unwavering belief— _ a certainty _ —that her Danno would keep her safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Besides a few details, this is a recounting of my own experience. I was...lucky, I know, in the fact that it never went further than this. I don't remember many of the details because I've suppressed the memory of this time in my life, but I do know that yes, it was handled. I have a vague recollection of giving a statement at a police station, and that my dad broke up with the mother of the kid and we never went back there again. 
> 
> I held a level of certainty that I could tell my mom and she would take care of it, that the situation that didn't feel right would end. I'm not sure what she said or did in the years before that gave me that surety, but I'm forever grateful that she did.


End file.
